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Do You Give Too Much in Relationships: Break Free from People-Pleasing: Embrace Self-Love and Find Freedom thumbnail

Do You Give Too Much in Relationships: Break Free from People-Pleasing: Embrace Self-Love and Find Freedom

Published Oct 29, 23
10 min read

"It's not people touching our buttons that's the problem; it's that we have them to touch." - Kristen Brown

Codependency is a complex issue that affects many individuals, hindering their personal growth and robbing them of authentic connections in relationships. People with codependency tendencies often find themselves prioritizing the needs of others above their own, seeking external validation, and struggling to establish healthy boundaries.

The Journey of Codependency Recovery

Codependency recovery is a transformative journey that involves shifting from being a people-pleaser to becoming a self-advocate. It requires individuals to examine their beliefs, behaviors, and patterns of relating to others in order to break free from codependent dynamics.

One crucial aspect of codependency recovery is developing a strong sense of self-love. Many people-pleasers struggle with low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth, seeking validation from others to fill the void within themselves. By cultivating self-love, individuals can learn to prioritize their own needs, set boundaries, and make decisions that align with their values and desires.

Importance of Self-Love

"Shame and unworthiness are the dis-ease and self-love is the miracle cure." - Kristen Brown

Self-love is not selfish; it is a necessary foundation for personal growth and fulfilling relationships. When individuals love themselves, they can make healthier choices, prioritize self-care, and attract healthier connections. By acknowledging their own worth and embracing self-compassion, individuals can break free from the cycle of seeking validation from others.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

"Boundaries are designed to protect and support our sacred selves." - Kristen Brown

One of the essential steps in codependency recovery is the establishment of healthy boundaries. Boundaries are the guidelines that define how individuals allow others to treat them and what behaviors they consider acceptable. By setting clear boundaries, individuals can protect their emotional well-being and maintain a sense of self in relationships.

Healthy boundaries require individuals to communicate their needs, assert their limits, and say no when necessary. This process can be challenging for people-pleasers who fear rejection or conflict. However, boundaries are an integral part of self-care and self-advocacy.

Enhancing Self-Worth

"Healthy boundaries are self-love in action." - Kristen Brown

Codependency often stems from a lack of self-worth. Individuals may believe that their value is contingent upon pleasing others or meeting their expectations. By recognizing and enhancing their self-worth, individuals can break free from codependent patterns and build healthier relationships.

Enhancing self-worth requires individuals to challenge negative self-talk and develop a positive self-image. It involves acknowledging their strengths, embracing their uniqueness, and practicing self-compassion. As individuals develop a stronger sense of self-worth, they become less reliant on external validation and are better able to advocate for their own needs and desires.

Fostering Better Mental and Emotional Health

"Being excellent guardians of our mental and emotional health will require doing hard things." - Kristen Brown

Codependency can take a toll on an individual's mental and emotional well-being. By embarking on the journey of codependency recovery and adopting self-advocacy, individuals can enhance their mental and emotional health.

This process involves learning to identify and manage emotions, setting realistic expectations for oneself and others, and practicing self-care. Individuals can work on developing healthy coping mechanisms, such as engaging in therapy, practicing mindfulness, and surrounding themselves with a supportive community.

Fostering Healthier and More Fulfilling Relationships

"A well-set boundary gives the other person an opportunity to discover and heal disowned aspects of themselves." - Kristen Brown

As individuals progress in their codependency recovery journey and become self-advocates, they can foster healthier and more fulfilling relationships. By cultivating self-love, setting boundaries, and enhancing self-worth, individuals can attract and nurture connections that are based on mutual respect, authenticity, and emotional well-being.

Healthy relationships are built on interdependence, where each individual maintains their own sense of self while supporting and respecting the other. Through self-advocacy, individuals can develop the skills necessary for healthy communication, conflict resolution, and fostering intimacy.

What are some signs of codependency?

Some signs of codependency include constantly seeking approval from others, having difficulty setting boundaries, feeling responsible for others' emotions, and neglecting one's own needs to please others.

How can I start the journey of codependency recovery?

Starting the journey of codependency recovery involves self-reflection, seeking support from a therapist or support group, and practicing self-care. It is important to recognize and challenge limiting beliefs and behaviors, prioritize your own needs, and set healthy boundaries.

"Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary to move from surviving to thriving." - Kristen Brown

In conclusion, codependency recovery is a transformative process that involves shifting from being a people-pleaser to becoming a self-advocate. By cultivating self-love, establishing healthy boundaries, and enhancing self-worth, individuals can experience improved mental and emotional well-being while fostering healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

For more guidance and support in codependency recovery, you can reach out to Kristen Brown, a Spiritual and Empowerment Author and Mentor. Kristen offers resources, coaching, and her book "The Recovering People Pleaser" to guide individuals on their journey towards self-advocacy and personal growth.


Building healthy relationships requires setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care. For recovering people-pleasers, setting boundaries can be a transformative act of self-love. By establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, individuals can rebuild their self-worth, honor their needs, and foster healthier connections with others.

In this article, we will explore the importance of setting boundaries as recovering people-pleasers and how it contributes to healthier relationships. We will delve into the concept of recovering from people-pleasing behaviors and provide practical strategies for establishing and maintaining boundaries. Additionally, we will discuss the role of self-love, self-care, and self-worth in the journey towards healthy relationships.

The Journey of Recovery: From People-Pleasing to Healthy Relationships

Recovering from people-pleasing involves breaking free from codependent patterns, honoring personal boundaries, and learning to prioritize self-care. People-pleasers often struggle with setting and maintaining boundaries due to their fear of rejection, the need for external validation, and the belief that their self-worth is dependent on meeting others' needs.

As recovering people-pleasers embrace their journey of recovery, they begin to realize that their happiness and well-being should not be sacrificed for the sake of others. They recognize that setting and enforcing boundaries is an essential part of valuing themselves and fostering healthier relationships.

1. Understanding Boundaries

A boundary is a personal limit that defines what is acceptable and unacceptable in how others treat us. It establishes guidelines for how we want to be treated, what behaviors we find respectful or disrespectful, and how much of ourselves we are willing to give in various relationships.

Setting and maintaining boundaries allows individuals to communicate their needs, protect their emotional well-being, and establish mutually respectful connections with others.

2. Rebuilding Self-Worth and Confidence

Recovering people-pleasers often struggle with low self-worth and lack of confidence. They may have spent years neglecting their own needs in order to gain approval and validation from others. Setting boundaries becomes a powerful tool in rebuilding self-worth and cultivating confidence.

By recognizing their inherent value and prioritizing their well-being, recovering people-pleasers begin to realize that their self-worth isn't dependent on meeting others' expectations. They understand that they deserve healthy, balanced, and respectful relationships.

3. Prioritizing Self-Care

Setting boundaries is closely linked to self-care. Recovering people-pleasers often have a history of neglecting their own needs in favor of others' demands. They may have difficulty saying "no" and may regularly prioritize others at the expense of their own well-being.

Establishing boundaries allows individuals to prioritize self-care by setting aside time and energy for themselves. It involves recognizing their own limits, understanding their own needs, and taking intentional actions to meet those needs.

Strategies for Setting Healthy Boundaries

When recovering from people-pleasing tendencies, it is essential to develop practical strategies for setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Reflect on Personal Values and Needs

Take the time to reflect on your personal values and needs. Identify what is important to you and what you need to feel respected, valued, and fulfilled in your relationships. This self-reflection will provide the foundation for setting boundaries that align with your authentic self.

2. Communicate Openly and Assertively

Effective communication is crucial in setting boundaries. Learn to express your needs, emotions, and limits in a clear and assertive manner. Practice using "I" statements to express how certain behaviors impact you and what you need from others.

3. Be Firm and Consistent

Setting and maintaining boundaries requires consistency. Be firm in your boundaries and enforce them consistently. People-pleasers may face resistance or pushback initially, but staying committed to your boundaries is essential for healthy relationships.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

Recovering from people-pleasing involves practicing self-compassion. Understand that setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first, and it's okay to prioritize your well-being. Be kind to yourself and remind yourself of your worth and the importance of self-care.

5. Seek Support and Guidance

Recovering from people-pleasing can be challenging, but you don't have to go through it alone. Seek support from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can guide you on your journey. They can offer valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability as you navigate setting boundaries.

The Role of Self-Love and Self-Worth in Healthy Relationships

Self-love and self-worth are foundational elements of healthy relationships. Recovering people-pleasers often struggle with these concepts and may prioritize others' needs over their own.

By practicing self-love, individuals can cultivate a deep sense of worthiness and prioritize their well-being. This allows them to establish and maintain boundaries that support their mental, emotional, and physical health. Self-love also enables them to attract and nurture healthier relationships as they learn to value themselves.


Setting boundaries as recovering people-pleasers is a transformative journey towards healthier relationships. By prioritizing self-care, rebuilding self-worth, and practicing self-love, individuals can break free from codependent patterns and foster connections built on mutual respect and understanding.

Remember, healthy boundaries are an act of self-love and a declaration of your worthiness. Embrace the journey of recovery, be patient with yourself, and surround yourself with a supportive community as you learn to unlock healthy relationships through setting boundaries.

Why are boundaries important in relationships?

Boundaries are essential in relationships as they help define what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. They communicate our needs, protect our emotional well-being, and foster respectful connections with others.

How can setting boundaries improve self-worth?

Setting boundaries allows individuals to prioritize their well-being and honor their needs. By valuing themselves and their boundaries, they can rebuild self-worth and confidence, realizing that their happiness is not dependent on meeting others' expectations.

Quote from Kristen Brown:

Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary to move from surviving to thriving.

For more insights on healthy relationships, self-love, and recovering from people-pleasing behaviors, visit Kristen Brown's official website.

Unlocking the Code to Codependency Recovery: The Journey to Healing


Are you someone who constantly seeks validation and approval from others? Do you put the needs of others before your own, often neglecting your own well-being? If so, you may be a people-pleaser, and it's possible that you are struggling with codependency in your relationships. In this article, we will explore the concept of codependency, its impact on your well-being, and provide insights on how to break free from this pattern. By cultivating self-love and healthy boundaries, you can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

Understanding Codependency

Codependency, at its core, is a dysfunctional relationship pattern where one person excessively relies on another for their emotional and mental well-being. It often involves an imbalance of power and a lack of healthy boundaries. Codependents tend to prioritize others' needs and emotions over their own, often resulting in neglecting their own self-care.

This behavior is rooted in a deep fear of rejection and abandonment. Codependents often derive their sense of self-worth from others' approval, leading to a constant cycle of seeking validation. This excessive focus on others can lead to feelings of resentment, frustration, and a loss of one's own identity.

Impact of Codependency

Being a people-pleaser and struggling with codependency can have detrimental effects on your mental, emotional, and even physical well-being. Here are some common consequences:

  • Low self-esteem: Constantly seeking validation from others can erode your self-esteem and self-worth.
  • Overwhelming stress: Putting others' needs before your own can lead to chronic stress and burnout.
  • Resentment: Neglecting your own needs and desires can breed resentment towards those you are constantly trying to please.
  • Loss of identity: Codependency often results in a loss of self, as your focus becomes solely on others' wants and needs.
  • Unfulfilling relationships: Codependency can lead to unhealthy and imbalanced relationships, lacking mutual respect and genuine emotional connections.

Cultivating Self-Love and Healthy Boundaries

To break free from codependency and become a healthier version of yourself, it is crucial to cultivate self-love and establish healthy boundaries. Here are some insights to help you in this process:

1. Reflect on your patterns and beliefs:

Take the time to reflect on your patterns of people-pleasing and codependency. Understand the underlying fears and beliefs that drive your behavior. By gaining self-awareness, you can begin to challenge and change these patterns.

2. Practice self-care:

Prioritize self-care and make it a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. This can include activities that bring you joy and help you reconnect with yourself, such as exercise, journaling, meditation, or spending time in nature.

3. Set clear boundaries:

Learn to set and communicate your boundaries effectively. Understand and assert your needs and limitations without guilt or fear. Remember that boundaries are a form of self-respect and self-love.

4. Take ownership of your emotions:

Recognize that you are responsible for your own emotions and well-being. Seek support from a therapist or coach who can help you develop healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills.

5. Develop a support network:

Surround yourself with individuals who support your growth and encourage your self-love journey. Engage in communities or seek out support groups where you can connect with others who have similar experiences.

6. Practice self-compassion:

Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this journey of breaking free from codependency. Practice self-compassion and remind yourself that you deserve love and respect just as much as anyone else.


Breaking free from codependency and people-pleasing is a challenging but rewarding journey towards self-growth and healthier relationships. By prioritizing your own well-being, cultivating self-love, and establishing healthy boundaries, you can reclaim your identity and create more fulfilling connections with others. Remember, you are worthy of love and respect, and it begins with loving and respecting yourself.

How can I recognize if I am a people-pleaser?

It's common for people-pleasers to constantly seek approval and avoid conflict at all costs. They often struggle with saying no, even if it means sacrificing their own well-being. Additionally, they may feel a deep sense of discomfort when someone is upset with them. These are some signs that indicate you might be a people-pleaser.

How can I start practicing self-love?

Self-love starts with accepting and embracing yourself as you are. Practice self-care, set boundaries, and prioritize activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and challenge any negative self-talk or beliefs that undermine your self-worth.

Remember, as Kristen Brown said in her book "The Recovering People Pleaser," "Self-love is not selfish. It is necessary to move from surviving to thriving."

If you want to learn more about overcoming codependency and cultivating self-love, consider exploring Kristen Brown's resources and books:

: Unlocking the Code to Codependency Recovery: The Journey to Healing

Unlocking the Code to Codependency Recovery: The Journey to Healing
More about Do You Give or Love too Much in Relationships Codependency Recovery: Fresh Content

Do You Give Too Much in Relationships: Break Free from People-Pleasing: Embrace Self-Love and Find Freedom

Unlocking the Code to Codependency Recovery: The Journey to Healing

2023 Kristen Brown, Spiritual and Empowerment Author and Mentor - Do You Give or Love too Much in Relationships Codependency Recovery All Rights Reserved.

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